I love this quote. “Our greatest duty to our children is to love them first. Secondly, it is to teach them. Not to frighten, force, or intimidate our children into submission, but to effectively teach them so that they have the knowledge and tools to govern themselves.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway
When I read the book, "Parenting: A House United," written by Nicholeen Peck, I realized something that has been very important in our household. Most of the difficulties we have in our home happen because someone did not remain calm. At first, I couldn't believe it was true, but after watching our family for a week, and thinking about it, I realized that Nicholeen Peck was right.
When we were calm, even when we had challenges, we just worked through them. It was when someone got upset and was not calm that the "small p" problems became "capital p" "Problems."
Then - not only did we have the original problem, but we had the extra dynamic of having someone calm down long enough to be able to effectively decide on a solution.
I used to face parenting situations and think, "Okay - I have to be calm -- but I CAN'T EVEN THINK RIGHT NOW!" I would do my best to grit my teeth and not say anything I'd regret later -- but even if I could keep my body calm, my heart was not. When I learned the TSG approach, I realized that there were actual steps I could take to help myself be calm, and that when I followed them, I could become calm in just a minute or two. I could also teach those steps to my children -- and they learned how to be calm too! Talk about empowering!
There is a wonderful DVD called "The Power of Calm by Nicholeen Peck here. Being calm can be a natural state.
If you would like to schedule individualized coaching or mentoring in the TSG method, please contact me here so that we can set up an appointment.