Anxiety Happens

Many of my clients who come for craniosacral therapy tell me that they suffer from anxiety.  It is a real problem for them.  What I notice, interestingly enough, is that most of them have very tense muscles, and their body feels very, very tight.

​There is a true principle:  Emotions lodge in the body.  ​

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When we feel tense, we ARE tense inside.  Anyone who has had a tension headache due to something stressful in their life knows how that principle is true.  The good news, though, is that when we pay attention to our body, we can help ourselves out emotionally.

One of my mentors told me hundreds of time that this is the rule:

                                                                 Everything physical is also emotional.
                                                                 Everything emotional is also physical.

Then she would add:  So - when you have a client, you have to work with them to decide if they can benefit from working at their problem from an emotional perspective, or with a physical perspective.  Some problems are resolved more easily with one perspective than another -- but all problems are BOTH physical and emotional.

How can  we deal with the emotional aspects of anxiety? 

Anxiety is a feeling.  We feel anxious.  When we recognize a feeling, it is vital that we look for the corresponding thought.  What are we thinking as a result of that anxiety?  

Again - this corresponds to a principle, which is:

                                                               F + T = E  
                                                                                       Or 
                                                                                                 A Feeling + a Thought  =  an Emotion.

Often we find that when we think through why we combined the specific thought with that feeling, we can see a “fallacy.”

Example:  

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Lydia had felt great anxiety for a long time.  Most of the time her anxiety came when she didn’t know what to expect in a new situation.  
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Her specific would equation be like this.

           Feeling:  I feel fear.   
                      Plus 
           a Thought:  I am thinking that people will laugh at me because I will be awkward.  
                      Equals 
          her Emotion.

How does knowing this help her?

Remember the principle:  

Emotions Shape Paradigms and Decisions.

Lydia has to decide if it is true that people will laugh at her.  Now, maybe she doesn’t know these people, and maybe they will laugh at her.  It does not make it a fact.  It does make it her belief, if she chooses.  She still has to choose it.  She could choose to believe something different, after all.  Could she believe that they will laugh WITH her?  Could she choose to believe that people will not think anything is awkward about her?    It still helps her to know that this is her belief.  Is there anything she can do about that?  Well, probably it wouldn’t be realistic to say she could do anything about that.  We can’t control other people.

She also has to decide if she really thinks that she will be awkward.  Why does she think that?  (If she is going to a beach party wearing a business suit, maybe that would be awkward.)  Are there things she can do to minimize that?

Really, though, what she really needs is a plan.    Anxiety happens when we don’t have a plan, when we have no idea how to respond or what to do.  We feel anxious when we do not think that we have any control.  Be proactive about that!  

So she can shift her emotions around and say, instead, “I am afraid to go into this new situation, and I might find that people will laugh at me, and I might do something that will feel  awkward.  BUT -- (and this is her point of power) -- I have already decided that if that happens, I am going to be confident anyway.  I am going to remain calm, and know that it is just a moment, and I will be fine.

Decide what to do if we have a certain emotion -- in advance!

Telling this to ourselves will decrease anxiety.  It will allow us to find peace.  It will also allow us to be real.  No one is perfect, and we are not real even to ourselves if we think that we should be perfect.  Our bodies can then  relax, and we can feel peace.