“Finding the center of strength within ourselves is in the long run the best contribution we can make to our fellow men. ... One person with indigenous inner strength exercises a great calming effect on panic among people around him. This is what our society needs — not new ideas and inventions; important as these are, and not geniuses and supermen, but persons who can "be", that is, persons who have a center of strength within themselves.” ― Rollo May, Man's Search for Himself **********
0 Comments
Babies and children are supposed to learn: *When I need something, others will willingly take care of me. *I am loved just because I exist. *My needs are important to other people. *It is okay to have needs. When those needs are met, at a core level, inside ourselves, we know: “I am valued, loved, and important to others. I know that my existence is important, and that others want to connect with me.” What happens when something in childhood was not ideal, and we did not come away with those messages? There is a solution. It is important to teach children about emotions. One of the most important things for them to know is that emotions affect our physical body. Principle: Emotions lodge in the body. This is a simply poster that I made up for our family. You can easily do the same thing. Post it on your frig, and talk periodically about it. Questions such as these can be simple, but meaningful. "What does your mouth do when you are angry?" Child might say that it could yell, or that it could scream. You could point out that we could also "hum a favorite hymn" to calm down, or we could remember to "keep our mouth closed until we have time to think." When I was a teenager, my mother decided that it would be good for me to learn to knit. My friend’s mothers all decided that same thing, and soon seven young teenagers found ourselves in a 4H group that was called the “Knitting Lions.” We each picked a project to make. I picked a sweater. My club leader suggested a potholder, but I was sure that knitting would be easy. So my mother and I bought a knitting pattern for a sweater, yarn, and needles, and I began. One day I noticed that my son Daniel, 19 months old, was walking around the house with a limp, and saying “ouch” every time his right foot hit the ground. He was wearing shoes -- his favorite ones with the blue stripes, and the velcro fastenings. He had recently learned how to put those shoes on all by himself, and he had been very proud of that fact. I walked over to him and pulled him on my lap so that I could look at his foot and figure out what was wrong. But he wouldn’t sit still, and definitely, definitely, DEFINITELY did not want me to even touch those shoes. It was obvious that he was saying, “No way, Mom. I put those shoes on by myself, and I am not going to let you take them off.” |