Many of my clients who come for craniosacral therapy tell me that they suffer from anxiety. It is a real problem for them. What I notice, interestingly enough, is that most of them have very tense muscles, and their body feels very, very tight.
There is a true principle: Emotions lodge in the body.
Somehow, we have come to misunderstand what fear is.
Remember the principle: A feeling PLUS a thought equals an emotion.
F + T = E
Fear is the meaning we assign to a situation as a result of a sensation or feeling.
Noise heard in the middle of the night = waking up with racing heart, and fear.
Being told that you are being laid off from a job = fear based on the belief: We will run out of money and starve.
The question is: How do we deal with fear?
Last month I had Grandma’s Camp at our house. It was a lot of fun. For several days my grandchildren and I played and did activities together.
I had checked out a movie from the library - geared especially for little children - and we decided to watch it. But - my little five-year-old granddaughter looked at the cover, and said, “It’s too scary for me.” Since it was a very child-friendly movie, I said, “Oh, I think it will be okay.”
This wonderful, precocious, dear-to-my-heart granddaughter said, very earnestly, “It won’t be okay to me.”
We can think of “fear” as a tool. This is a “tool” to help us figure out a response to an immediate threat.
When we’re curious about our fear, we want to understand what the fear means.
As we’re curious, we wonder: What does this experience mean to me? What does it represent? What choices am I making because of this situation? What choices or options do I see because of how I am looking at it? Are there other options or choices? I wonder what would happen if I were to look at the situation with another viewpoint?
Most people today would say that they feel a significant amount of stress all the time. It’s that uncomfortable feeling that says, “There’s no ability to relax.”
Over and over in my private craniosacral therapy practice, I find that people are saying “stress” is their “normal.”
What would it like to NOT feel stress? People don’t know.
“Finding the center of strength within ourselves is
in the long run the best contribution we can make
to our fellow men. ... One person with indigenous inner strength exercises a great calming effect
on panic among people around him. This is what
our society needs — not new ideas and inventions; important as these are, and not geniuses
and supermen, but persons who can "be", that
is, persons who have a center of strength within themselves.”
― Rollo May, Man's Search for Himself
Babies and children are supposed to learn:
*When I need something, others will willingly take care of me.
*I am loved just because I exist.
*My needs are important to other people.
*It is okay to have needs.
When those needs are met, at a core level, inside ourselves, we know:
“I am valued, loved, and important to others.
I know that my existence is important, and that others want to connect with me.”
What happens when something in childhood was not ideal, and we did not come away with those messages?
There is a solution.